Honoring the Inward Revolution at the Heart of the Ultimate Revolution
Reflections on My First Pilgrimage to Makkah and the Journey of Internal Transformation
Dear Fellow Warrior,
I’m delighted to continue my new newsletter, Sword Dispatch: The WKQ Letters, with a significant update from my life.
As I shared across Substack and my social media accounts, I recently embarked on my first pilgrimage to Makkah.
Since returning, a part of me has struggled to put the experience into words, both on social media and in my blogs.
I think it’s understandable to face a kind of “perfectionism paralysis” after such an incredible journey, as long as it doesn’t completely disrupt everything else in your life.
Nevertheless, I do hope to share more essays, reflections, and writings about the experience in the coming weeks. I have several pieces I’m working on for other outlets, and I’ve already pitched a few. It would be a beautiful milestone if some of these insights from Umrah could reach public-facing and policy-oriented spaces beyond the self-publishing.
For the moment, though, I want to share with you something directly from the Chronicles of the Warrior KQueen blog:
Embracing the Heart of the Ultimate Revolution: Initial Reflections on Umrah
I also recently posted an article in my other newsletter, The Qualitative Inquisition, where I reflect on more stories from this experience — connecting them to my ongoing themes of identity, reflexivity, and storytelling from an academic lens.
You can read it here (and please feel free to subscribe!):
The featured photo above is the flag of Saudi Arabia on display.
Only recently did I realize how strongly it resonates with the symbolism of Sword Dispatch — something I believe is worth exploring further, both for this newsletter and my blog.
The left-leaning sword underneath the Shahada (the Muslim declaration of faith) particularly stood out to me.
I chose the sword as a symbol of resilience, resistance, empowerment, and strength for the Warrior KQueen logo and brand a while ago — values that also align with my personal commitment to social justice.
In that spirit, I generally lean “left” in my political orientation, especially when it comes to advocacy for marginalized communities.
The quote that has become part of my writing and branding reads:
“She wasn’t looking for a knight. She was looking for a sword.” - Atticus
This symbolism feels especially powerful now, as I launch this new newsletter and step further into the next chapter of my life’s story, rediscovering my passion for Islam, human rights, and social justice.
There is so much layered meaning here. I hardly know where to begin. Especially as a Muslimah, now fully embracing every intersection of her authentic identity.
A few weeks ago, I attempted to paint the Shahada for the first time:
I feel this reflects the evolution of my inward revolution as well, especially after returning from Umrah.
I’ve really enjoyed starting to explore Arabic calligraphy more seriously.
At one time, I thought I could never be good at it — so I didn’t even dare to try.
But recently, I’ve been getting a little better, and I’m excited to continue learning and practicing.
I hope to share a dedicated page for my Arabic calligraphy and Islamic art on my blog, alongside my existing Painting Heals Gallery: Painting Heals Gallery
There’s already a description of the gallery there, along with some photos.
As I noted on the page, I’m planning to add three new sections to the gallery very soon:
Arabic Calligraphy and Islamic Art
Coronavirus Series (paintings from the Covid-19 Pandemic in 2020)
Inward and Outward Revolution (abstract paintings connected to resistance and struggle, both internal and external)
Here’s another piece I made recently that I really liked. I’ll be sharing a blog post about it, and on the notion of forgiveness soon on the Warrior KQueen Blog. I feel this has been central to my inward revolution, connected to the Pilgrimage as well.
I look forward to sharing more about my journey, and my first pilgrimage, through my writing in the weeks ahead.
Some of these reflections will appear in the Chronicles of a Warrior KQueen blog, my blog connected to this newsletter, while others will be featured in my other newsletter, The Qualitative Inquisition.
The more academic and informational pieces will find their home in The Qualitative Inquisition, while the more personal, spiritual, and creative reflections will flow through the Warrior KQueen blog.
Each outlet holds a different part of my voice, and together, they share a more complete story of this experience from the heart of the Revolution.
And that partly symbolizes why I felt I needed to bring The Warrior KQueen to Substack alongside my Qi Academic newsletter.
With the emphasis on belonging, authenticity, inclusion, and empowerment, my presence here feels a little more complete.
Although I’ve posted a few thoughts across my social media accounts… a few photos, a few videos, a few moments that moved me… there’s still so much I haven’t shared. So much that is still unfolding within me.
And that’s why I’m here — through this blog, through my Warrior KQueen space, through Qi, and through my Sword Dispatch letters — to begin placing those reflections down.
Piece by piece. Thought by thought. And even prayer by prayer.
I don’t know exactly how long it will take, or where this path will lead.
But I do know this: I am meant to walk it, with a sincere heart, intentionally.
And if even one person sees themselves reflected in these words, or finds comfort in them, then it’s already worth it.
One of the hardest parts about returning from a journey like the Pilgrimage is protecting your heart, mind, and soul from being pulled down, especially after your spirit has risen.
Sometimes it’s the world. Sometimes it’s the news. Sometimes it’s simply everyday life — or even the people around you. Everyone is at a different place in life and faith, and that’s okay.
But not everyone will know how to receive your light, your joy, your spiritual energy in a positive way. What you hope might inspire can sometimes be met with silence, discomfort, or even dismissal.
Still, it is an important reminder:
Never let anyone dim your light.
Perhaps this too is an opportunity to build even greater strength in character.
Keep that light shining in you. Keep holding onto that feeling. Keep nurturing that revolutionary love, mercy, compassion within you. Let it carry you forward in all that you do. Don’t let it go.
Closing Reflection: Still Coming Back, Still Rising
From Women's History Month to National Poetry Month
This month, April, is National Poetry Month.
Here is my post from last year, where I reflected on embracing my identity as a poet — a piece that still speaks to me today. I’m so grateful I wrote it, and I’m excited to continue writing and sharing more.
One of the reasons I bring this up now is because immediately after returning from my pilgrimage, I found myself revisiting old poems — and creating new ones. Especially a specific one connected to one aspect of my personal transformation at the moment.
Earlier this year, I wrote a poem titled "Prisoner of Conscience: An Ode to My Solitude," which I submitted to a poetry contest. It speaks to the challenges of loneliness, isolation, alienation, and solitude — experiences that ultimately helped me realize the need for an inward revolution.
As Muslims, we understand that certain hardships, especially those involving isolation, are often a way Allah draws us closer to Him.
This poem was born from that recognition, written during the second week of the New Year, at a time when the journey inward felt most necessary.
I mention this now because this transformation, the quest to move from isolation to authentic community, became a central focus for me during Ramadan, now, and beyond.
I share more about that reflection in this piece on Medium (also linked in the earlier blog post):
Reflexivity in Solitude: A Ramadan Confession
I look forward to sharing the poem with you in the coming months — whether or not it wins the contest.
The second piece I wrote relates to my return to the head cover, the hijab after my inward revolution — a decision and journey I hope to share in detail with you soon.
When I first started wearing hijab in my Senior Year of high school, I wrote a poem called Gift of Purity, which shared my love for the Hijab. So when I came back from Makkah earlier this month, I decided to write a new piece.
I hope to share that with you in the next edition.
For now, I want to leave you with a piece that brings some of these observations together — about hijab, identity, and returning to one’s truest self. One that I just posted in the Chronicles of the Warrior KQueen:
Returning, Reclaiming, and Rising as One’s True Self: A Warrior KQueen’s Coronation
Here’s a video from my YouTube Channel (which I hope to talk more about in future editions):
You can review the YouTube Community Post HERE for context… (Please feel free to Subscribe there too!)
It has taken time and grace through critical reflexivity to reach a place where I can begin sharing more formally in these spaces, letting go of perfectionism and the never-ending impostor syndrome.
But I am ready now. Ready to bring it all together, piece by piece, as a critical part of my transformation, in my terms…in the pace that I am comfortable with.
So here I am: Still coming back. Still reflecting. Still learning. Still writing.
All in the spirit of this beautiful, messy, imperfect, and thrilling inward and outward revolution.
Please feel free to share any thoughts if any of this resonates with you. And let us continue to embrace the transformative power of difficult conversations.
With love, peace, blessings, and revolutionary grace,
Your sister, Dr. Elsa
The Warrior KQueen
"She wasn’t looking for a Knight. She was looking for a Sword." — Atticus
